Aurora
by Aeshna Lacrymosa
Summary: Bella breaks off her engagement with Edward, setting off a chain of unfortunate events.
1. Chapter 1

Choice

Edward found me in my favorite bed of clovers in our meadow, playing with my engagement ring by watching the light refract through the diamonds. I ignored him as he lay beside me and kissed my cheek. "Shouldn't you be wearing that?" he said. This was one of the times that I was glad that he couldn't read my mind. I was free to think what I think and feel what I feel; he wouldn't be able to judge me.

"It's pretty," I said. I took a deep breath. "I want to take one last look at it before I give it back."

My heart picked up its pace when Edward became stiff and slowly sat up. "What did you say?" he asked in the quiet but demanding tone I knew too well.

"You heard me," I said, looking bravely into his caramel-colored eyes. "You can have your mother's ring back." I lifted the ring for him to take.

"Why?" he said. I was getting scared of the look on his face, but I didn't want to show it. It was like he couldn't decide whether to be angry or sad.

"I'm doing you a favor," I told him. "You don't want to turn me. You keep badgering me to wait before you turn me, as if you've been expecting me to change my mind. Well, I did change my mind, Edward. You said you will turn me under the condition that I will marry you. Well, I no longer want to be a vampire, so I will not marry you. Please, take your mother's ring. It no longer belongs to me."

"No," said Edward. "Bella, don't you understand my feelings for you? I want you to live—to truly live. I want you to make the most of your life the way I never can. … Of course, you wouldn't understand." I bit my lip as he continued in his soft, weary voice: "Mortals as young as you feel like you know the world, but you could never understand know how this un-life is for a vampire."

"There, you're insulting me again," I said.

"I only want what is best for you," he said, his voice shaking, "but you are my life now. You are my reason to stay alive. It's my job to protect you."

I looked away, unable to keep watching his reserve crumbling further. "No, it isn't. Charlie is a cop. And there's Jacob."

"Jacob Black is recuperating in his bedroom," said Edward hotly.

"You've done nothing but insult and underestimate my best friend and his brothers. You condemn and mock the heartbroken woman in mourning among them. That is hardly the sort of attitude I should expect of the man who loves me."

Edward looked at me, bothered and bewildered. "I do love you!" he barked. When I sat up and shifted away from him in fright, his icy hands trembled in his attempt to stay as gentle as he could while he took my hands and put the ring back where he thought it should belong. I tried not to cry when he accidentally dropped it and picked it up again. "Isabella Marie Swan," he choked the words out, "will you marry me?"

"Edward Anthony Mason, Jr.," I whispered, "no." I trembled when his face hardened. His eyes were wide and wild, and his nostrils were flaring. His tousled pompadour accentuated the effect. In the following moment, he looked as monstrous as he so often imagined himself to be.

"I want to truly live," I told him. "I want to make the most of my life the way you never can. I don't think I can do it with you. I'm tired of hiding and lying all the time. Those newborns that were killed in the field—you all warned me that that's what I will become if you turn me. Well, I don't want to be like that anymore. I don't want to be that girl—Bree. I watched those bodies burn. I don't want to be in that place—that world—not anymore." I took off the ring and put it in his hand. "It's yours now. Goodbye, Edward Cullen."

I still felt afraid when I turned around. I glanced back, every so often, to see if he was still there. To my relief, he didn't come to kill me, like he had always wanted. He just stood there among the light and the flowers, marvelous like Michelangelo's _David_ clothed in designer apparel.

I approached my motorcycle standing on the side of the road. I rode away. When I glanced back, Edward was watching me go. I bit my lip. I should have realized he was going to follow me.

Instead of going straight home, I went to the La Push reservation to see Jacob. Billy greeted me at the door. Smiling brightly, he shook my hand. "I'm glad you came," he said. "Jacob will be happy to see you, too."

I found Jacob walking and then running to the edge of the forest. "Jacob!" I called from the back porch. When he looked back, I leaped from the porch and ran toward him. "Jacob!" I called again. I laughed at his look of bafflement before throwing my arms and legs around him. I kissed his mouth. He caught me, so I wouldn't fall off, but I could feel he wanted me to stop, just so I could explain what was happening. But I loved his warm and soft lips—his naked chest so hard I wondered what it would feel like against my breasts.

When I was finished, Jacob put me down. Catching his breath, he asked, "Why did you do that? Edward will kill me!"

"No, he won't," I said, still beaming at him. "I'm not gonna marry him. I'm staying human."

"No shit!" he said, as amazed as a kid in a monster truck show.

I gazed upon his unkempt beauty. Now, I knew where I belonged. "My heart will keep beating for you, Jacob."

"Bella!" he shouted gleefully, lifting me again to give me another kiss. This time, he tickled my lips open with his tongue, and I gladly let him in. We must seem ridiculous trying to make out, but I didn't care. The sensual, visceral experience of kissing him like this was all that mattered. Nothing existed except him and me. It seemed to go on and on. I didn't want it to end.

"Whoa!" gasped Jacob, when we eventually pulled away from each other. "What's gotten into you?"

"I can come and visit you any time I want, from now on," I said. "I can stay as long as you want. No one can stop me."


	2. Chapter 2

Absence

I lay awake in my bed for hours, just watching my locked window. Not having Edward beside me was something to get used to. He had done it for so long that I no longer knew how it felt like to sleep alone in my full size bed. "This is how it should be," I told myself. Then, I giggled. I could talk, and nobody was here to listen or ask me what I was thinking. What marvelous freedom this was!

The following morning, the summer sun was shining rather brightly. I snuggled under my quilt for five minutes before getting up. I hurried downstairs to make breakfast for Charlie and me. I cooked the pancakes in butter; added shredded cheese to the eggs; and fried the bacon in the remaining oil in the pan.

"The nearest IHOP is in Sequim, Bells," said Charlie, chuckling. "How'd you get these beauties all the way down here?"

"I made them myself, Dad," I said, beaming.

He took a bite, and so did I. The food I prepared was the most delicious thing I had ever tasted. I would never exchange this for acrid blood.

Charlie was so happy he helped me to wash the dishes, so I could go to La Push earlier.

I drove my truck as fast as I could. But with the additional weight of the motorcycle on its bed, I almost felt like I was dragging the truck and its load by myself. I looked around me, afraid for no reason. Was Edward following me? No, I didn't want him to! I screamed out my frustration, goading the truck to accelerate. Then, the scream of defiance turned into a scream of horror when opaque puffs of white smoke leaked out of the hood. The truck shook violently and groaned angrily. I cried out and coughed, leaping out of the truck. Several people came to my aid.

"It's gonna be okay," said a tall man with eyeglasses. "I'm calling for a tow truck."

"How old is the truck anyway?" asked a younger teenage girl.

"It's a 60s model," I replied indignantly. I whipped out my mobile to call Charlie and then Jacob.

I waited in a nearby diner, sipping on root beer float while watching my truck getting towed. I was flustered that I didn't even make it out of the town. As I stirred my tall glass to make the beer frothier, I felt thankful that I was surrounded by people. The sweetness of the float might mask my scent somehow. I didn't want Edward to confront me sometime soon.

I glanced at my truck again. Tears filled my eyes. My 1963 Chevrolet pickup truck, which had faithfully brought me anywhere I had needed to be, had died a natural death. "You were my one friend," I whispered as I wiped my eyes with a table napkin.

Later, a representative from the tow truck company approached me and told me about the state of the truck. "Besides its obvious age, frankly, it is also unsafe to drive. It's seriously outdated, and it no longer passes the standards of the IIHS. Do you have car insurance?" he asked with such a reproachful tone that I flinched.

"I'm not too sure," I said. "My Dad bought it from a mechanic friend in La Push."

"Oh, you mean Billy Black? Yeah, the old man does have a fondness for resuscitating ancient models like that. But it's not safe …"

Moments later, Charlie arrived in his police cruiser. The tow truck guy shook hands with him, and they discussed the situation. I let them talk it out while I continued to mourn inside with my root beer float. To my horror, a shiny silver Volvo slid into view. Covering his face with a pale gray ARSNL Kato ninja hoodie and Ray Ban shades to hide from the sun, Edward Cullen marched into the diner. He didn't need to search for me. He sat across the table from me.

"Bella, are you alright?" he asked, uncovering his perfect face.

I sipped some more of the sweet caramel-colored drink. "I'm fine," I replied curtly. I wanted to add that "It's none of your business," but I'd rather not make him angry.

"Alice saw—"

"Why do you need to do something because Alice saw something?"

"Why are you interrupting me?"

"Why are you here?" I asked. I wanted to add, "What I do or what happens to me is none of your business anymore," but I didn't have the heart.

"I came to see if you were all right because Alice saw you going to La Push," he confessed with so much raw emotion that I struggled not to fall for it. Why did he have to dazzle me so much?

I shut my eyes and took a deep breath. "Whether I go to La Push or not is no longer your concern," I said. "I can go see Jacob whether you like it or not."

"Bella, I'm serious. The wolves—"

"After they helped you protect me, you still don't trust them?"

I felt immensely satisfied as the shame washed over his face. I also simultaneously felt guilty. I didn't usually make people feel bad intentionally. It was very hard, watching him in this agony. It was like watching him get tortured by Jane except I was doing this to him.

I took a deep breath. "I'm going to be fine," I said, standing up after finishing my float. "That should comfort you enough."

I left the diner and greeted my father. "Hey, Bells," he said. "Let me take you to La Push."

"What about my bike?"

"I can bind it to the cruiser. Come on."

Looking at Forks felt different now. It felt strange feeling safe with Charlie like this. Not that being with Charlie wasn't safe. It just occurred to me that I had totally neglected my own father and, in the process, realized that being with him was nice. I had constantly chosen Edward over Jacob; and both of them over Charlie; when it should have been in reverse. I liked this, for a change: being normal. I closed my eyes, listening to the gentle humming of the car engine and the road noise outside. I was safe. Nothing was out to kill me.

Today, I was going to hang out with a guy who had stood by me no matter how badly my ex or I had treated him. I was going to make it up to him, and nobody could stop me, especially not a ridiculously rich eternally adolescent vampire who drove a Volvo. I gave Charlie a kiss on the cheek when he dropped me off at Billy Black's house. I looked at the little faded red house and decided that this was where I was going to relax, from now on. "The Cullens don't come here," I chanted to myself.

Jacob and I rode our bikes together, casually cruising around La Push like we used to. Like riding with Charlie, this was a freeing experience. Unlike with Edward, I could talk freely because Jacob never got angry at what I said. Jacob loved to see me laugh because it didn't put him on guard. Jacob trusted me.

When we relaxed in the beach, I kissed his cheek. Jacob smiled at me, comforted by the chaste gesture. "You're happier," he observed.

"I'm done with being afraid all the time," I said.

"I thought you weren't afraid of them," said Jacob, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, I wasn't," I said, pausing momentarily, "but I don't want to live the way they do. I don't wanna have to hide from the sun all the time because I love the sun. I don't wanna have to live away from my family. I love my family. I love my mother. And I'm sorry …" My voice broke and my eyes leaked tears. Jacob let the crying spell pass but he didn't touch me. I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry if I hurt any of you because I favored them."

I hugged Jacob tight and savored the feel of his warmth, his taut muscles. "I'm so sorry, Jake," I sobbed. "I should have let you go when I chose him over you, but I didn't because I need you."

"It doesn't matter," said Jacob firmly as he wrapped his thick arms around me. "I know you loved me anyway. I was only just hoping you would come to me eventually. And you did. It was worth it."

"So, the rumors are true," drawled the husky voice of a woman.

"Go away, Leah!" snapped Jacob.

We looked behind us. Leah's beauty was nearly as stunning as that of any of the Cullens, but she was also about as intimidating. Tall and slim, Leah commanded respect even by standing lazily with her head slightly cocked to the side. The constant shunning she got from the formerly exclusively male Quileute wolf pack clearly got her down, but she refused to show it.

"Why don't you tell _her_ to go away? She smells of bloodsuckers."

Leah had every reason to be angry all the time, but I could see how the rest of the pack found it hard to feel sorry for her. The jab at me stung.

"You hate me now, leech lover?"

It was a very bad time to be tongue-tied. Each second, I got more nervous, and Leah got smugger. I didn't hate her, but I doubted my patience.

"What the hell is your problem, Leah?" Jacob leaped to his feet, clenching his fists.

"Jacob!" I gasped.

"You gonna hit a girl now, huh?" said Leah.

"Stop!" I screamed.

Leah finally smiled with satisfaction and strutted away from the beach. Jacob's breathing slowed, and he sat again. "She just enjoyed bothering you," he explained.

"I figured," I said.

We spent the next few hours chatting in the Black House's garage while Jacob was working on a Harley Davidson. Jacob had always had "mad skills" when it came to mechanics, and Harley Davidson motorcycles were his favorite. He talked at great length about how small and slim this particular model was; "probably built for ladies," he guessed. Then, he went on about the different models of Harley Davidson motorcycles and their specifications. I knew nothing about motorcycles except how to ride them and maintain them, but I marveled at his passion. "I didn't know there were so many models," I said.

"Like cars, there are adjustments to each model every year. …"

It was nice to see him light up like this. It didn't matter to either of us that he knew that I didn't understand what he was saying. We were having a great time, and that mattered more than anything.

When I went home, the sky had become quite dark, and Charlie had finished his duty fairly early.

"I figured you need a little cheering up," he said.

"I had a great time in La Push, Dad," I said, "but thank you. You have any plans?"

"I suggest you get dressed up," said Charlie. "How does dinner out and a movie sound?"

"That sounds great!" I said, more out of surprise than delight. We hadn't done this in a while. While I didn't remember particularly enjoying it when I had first arrived in Forks, I realized I did miss quiet moments like this with my father. In the care, I quietly watched the homes and businesses fly by the car window like this morning. When Charlie's favorite diner passed by, I was stunned.

"Dad, we missed the diner."

"We're not going to the diner," he said. "How d'you like eating somewhere fancy out of town?"

"Are you serious?" I exclaimed gleefully. "Of course I wanna go!"

Charlie drove us to Port Angeles, to a familiar little Italian restaurant called the Bloated Toad. "Your mother and I used to have dinner here," he said. "We privately call it Bella Notte because the Bloated Toad is an ugly name. I think that's how we came up with your name."

"Cool!" It felt strange to be livelier than usual, but it made Charlie happy. It made me feel happy, too. When Charlie led me into the restaurant, I had a strong nostalgic feeling about it—the bad kind. This was where I had eaten with Edward Cullen; if you would consider him watching me eat as "eating with."

"Table for two, please," said Charlie to the waitress who greeted us at the door. His unusually gleeful voice woke me up from my thoughts.

We were assigned a small but comfortable round table for two. While Charlie was browsing the menu, I looked around and noticed how cozy the restaurant was. The ambience was incredibly soothing thanks to the piano adaptations of slow pop songs in the background and the warm lighting. I hadn't noticed all of this before because I had been too busy gawking at Edward. The lighting accentuated his amber eyes.

I shook my head and read the menu. There were plenty of great choices here. The pizzas and pastas awee segregated by their sauces: red sauce and white sauce. Other dishes, like the aglio olio, puttanesca, and ravioli, belonged in a separate list. After much deliberation, we settled for a Margherita pizza and eggplant parmigiana for me and spaghetti in puttanesca for Charlie. We ordered non-alcoholic Kahlúa coffee to go with everything.

The meal was as quiet as any dinner with my father in any old diner in Forks, but this really was special. I couldn't put my finger on it, but something was different, and I liked it.

"Hey, Dad," I said, attempting to make small talk, "I think it would be really cool if we redesigned the house a bit. We can brighten it up with warm colors and light and stuff …"

"That sounds great," said Charlie, surprised with me, "but I don't think it matters much, now that you're moving out by next year."

I cringed, remembering the lies I had established with the help of the Cullen family. I had lied to both my parents about going to the University of Alaska when I never actually applied. It was only ever an excuse to disappear from both their lives forever. Now, I was left without a long-term plan.

"What's wrong?"

"That's really a shame, Dad," I said, my mind racing, "I'm gonna miss you."

I got Charlie to talk about his job today. I needed to take my mind off all the missed opportunities in my life so far. Later was a good time to think about them. I listened and tried to be as enthusiastic as I could. The latter didn't take too much effort; Charlie's stories really were interesting. Charlie was fond of telling me about the more action-filled parts of his job, like investigating on missing persons cases and hunting down felons on the loose. He was pleased that I was receptive to hearing details like finding dead bodies with parts mutilated or missing. Once upon a time, I had dreamed of being the one to leave people in that state; now, grotesque and morbid imagery were once again

safe and impossible fantasies.

After watching _Lady in the Water_, we went home full and satisfied. When I took a shower, I made sure to lock the little clerestory window above the shower. I covered it with the discarded hard cover of a fifty-year-old book the old owners had left in the bathroom. When I finished, I put the book cover where it belonged (a shelf above the magazine rack) and hurried back to my room.

I closed the window, locked it, and pulled down the shade and closed the curtains. Edward wouldn't be able to see me even if he tried. He wouldn't be able to smell me, either. I felt a flutter of excitement. I was alone in my room. I hung my towel to dry. I looked at myself in the free-standing mirror near my bed. As always, I looked thin and frail; I looked better with the right clothes on. My breasts and hips were small, but I guessed I looked okay with the right posture or the right angle. I sighed. I guessed it was okay I would never marry Edward; then, he'd never have to see me like this. Maybe I just hadn't grown into my own body yet, I hope …

I lay in bed without putting my clothes on. I reached for my clit and touched myself. Because I hadn't had time for myself in the last year or so, I hadn't been able to enjoy what Edward would never give to me. I had always been chattering with Alice or kissing with Edward. And when we kissed, my body never failed to betray my lust. I had never told Edward, but maybe he never needed telling; sometimes, I got wet just by looking at him. And now, I was wet just by thinking about him. I laughed at myself for literally wanting him. Edward was better as an unattainable fantasy, like a porn star in a computer screen—good for nothing more than eye candy. I smiled as I imagined what it must feel to be penetrated by him. My groin ached in response. I had to cover my mouth, so nobody would have to know what I was doing. It didn't take long for me to explode. The orgasm just kept coming and coming until I got exhausted and had to stop. I returned to the bathroom to clean myself up.

Charlie was snoring loudly in his room and did not suspect anything. As I returned to bed, I giggled. I wondered what it would be like to have _Jacob_ take me. I slept naked under the sheets.


	3. Chapter 3

Violent Love

In the following morning, I discussed with Charlie about my new plans. I told him I was withdrawing my application to the University of Alaska and moving in with my mother in Florida instead. I told both my mother and father that I intended to pursue becoming an artist in California after training in an art college in Florida.

I coordinated with Phil and Renée to arrange a flight to Jacksonville from Seattle. Renée was thrilled about my change of plans while Charlie, though clearly happy for me, couldn't shake off the gloom of knowing I was leaving him again.

"I'll be back, I promise," I told him when I was taking down the decorations in my room after taking photographs of them. I was taking almost all of them with me to Florida. When I finished arranging them in boxes, there was plenty of space for me to vacuum. With the walls almost bare and just my desk, dresser, mirror, and bed intact, my bedroom seemed bigger than it used to be.

I hadn't seen Edward or his family, or any of my fellow human friends from Forks High. If there was anything that hadn't quite changed, it was my indifference to Jessica, Mike, Tyler, Eric, and the others. I guessed I had been paranoid that I didn't trust any of them whereas I trusted a vampire who could kill me in an instant. The more I thought about it, the less I understood why things turned out the way they did. There was no reason for me to unfairly judge or shun any of them, but I just couldn't find it in myself to enjoy their company. And now, although I was sorry that I may have been mean, I still couldn't imagine myself feeling comfortable among them. Maybe I was so weird I only fit in among supernatural beings.

I sighed and collapsed on the bed. That was a sad thing to be. What was the point of breaking up with Edward if I was doomed to never fit in anywhere?

I asked Jacob to pick me up in his 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit to La Push, so we can carry the huge square plywood board I bought. I wanted to work on my art portfolio in Jacob's garage. "Why here?" he asked, when I told him what I was doing.

"You have complete tools, and you have time to help me use them," I said.

Jacob and I put up the plywood and let it lean against the wall. "So what are you gonna make?" he asked.

"I'll make a sculpture of you mauling Edward," I said grimly. "I'll just explain it as something else." I shrugged.

"What are you going to sculpt with?" he asked, realizing I hadn't brought any.

"Useless scrap metal, stones, and leaves, maybe," I said. "I should buy a mannequin." I made a quick sketch of what I want. Then, Jacob and I got to work on the wolf. It took us the whole day and a few cuts, bruises, and burns, but by the end of the day, we built the "skeleton" of the wolf using a motorcycle engine and smaller spare parts. I contemplated combining metal and/or leaves to make it more recognizably lupine.

When I was about to leave for dinner, Jacob told me, "I know this might sound mean, but my pack brothers are grateful that you broke up with Edward. It made the whole place a lot more peaceful."

"Thank you," I said uncertainly. "And yes, I wouldn't want to be a bother."

Jacob smirked and raised an eyebrow. Then, he laughed aloud.

Bewildered, I demanded, "Why are you laughing? What did I say?"

"I'm sorry," said Jacob, clearly surprised with himself but unable to stop. "It's Leah. She's tuning in to my thoughts and listening to us. She said something funny."

"Why don't you stop her?" I said, getting angrier by the second.

"I can't!" said Jacob, trying to catch his breath. "I don't have that power. Sam does, but he doesn't dare do that to Leah."

"What did she say?" I growled.

"I don't want to," said Jacob, his eyes widening with fear.

"What did she say?" I shouted.

Jacob recoiled and put his hands behind his back. "When you said you don't want to be a bother," he squeaked, "she asked if your nose was growing because you didn't seem to mind being a bother before."

I narrowed my eyes at Jacob. Then, his words sank in, and I turned around.

"Hey, where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm going home," I snapped. I kept walking and didn't look at him as I mounted my bike, started it, and rode off. I pretended to be deaf to his calls.

Charlie wasn't home yet, so I made a sandwich for myself and a small mug of tea. A heavy blanket of shame weighed down upon me in the silence of the house. I put the Quileute wolf pack through the trouble of fighting in a battle that wasn't theirs. I put all of their innocent lives at risk. "But I tried to stop them!" I argued. Then, I realized: "No, I didn't." I did feel guilty about making them go through the trouble of facing dangerous newborn vampires, but I didn't say anything. Jacob had reassured me that while he was doing it for me, the rest of the pack was doing it for their tribe. But even with that excuse, Sam and Leah and the others must have been angry with me.

Jacob laughed because he was presented with the truth that I had denied all this time. What a nerve I had, going there as if nothing had happened! Weeping, I ate my light dinner, had a shower, and lay in my father's bed. I scribbled a note, saying, "Please, let me sleep here, Daddy."

When I woke up, I was still alone in the bed, but I could hear Charlie stirring his coffee in the dining room. I stretched my body, got up, and made the bed. I was thankful for the long, dreamless sleep. It was the only reason I felt well-rested today. Charlie and I served ourselves cereal because neither of us felt like cooking today.

While browsing the Internet for part-time jobs I may take in Florida, I contemplated going to La Push. I really wanted to go, but I now had a different reason not to. If I had been too angry to stay last night, I was now too ashamed to go back. "Hi, Bells," said Charlie. "I'm about to go to work. Aren't you going to Jacob's today? I can bring you there."

"No, thanks, Dad," I said without looking at him.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm not going," I clarified with a little edge in my voice.

Charlie waited for a moment. Then, he said, "Alright, Bells. I'll see you tonight."

"Be careful," I said, smiling at him.

"Always am," he said with a playful smirk.

When I heard the cruiser leave the driveway, I immediately regretted the decision to stay at home alone. I felt the swirl of air through my bedroom. My heart raced.

"Hello, Bella," said Alice's bell-like voice.

"You're not welcome here anymore, Alice," I said. "Ever heard of breaking and entering? I think you forget my father is the Chief of the Forks Police Department."

Alice grinned mischievously like an actress playing Peter Pan on stage. "Your human laws and their enforcers weren't even able to solve the vampire-related mysteries of the past couple of years …"

"I've had it with your family's condescending comments about us mortals!" I shouted at her. "Go away now, please!"

"Edward wants to see you," she said calmly and seriously.

"Well, I don't," I said.

"He wants to talk to you."

"I don't think we have to."

"Bella, don't be ridiculous!"

"Oh, I'm being ridiculous? Why don't you just laugh at me now? It's not like I can fight back."

"You're refusing out of anger, I can understand that."

"Stop manipulating me! Where is Jasper?"

The question wiped the smile from Alice's face and replaced it with a guilty pout. Suddenly, Jasper was standing at my bedroom door with a sad look.

"Seriously," I said, "I feel used."

"It would make us happy if you consider coming with us," said Jasper. "You and Edward could use a calm talk to sort things out."

Considering that a "calm talk" can put Edward at ease about the breakup once and for all, I agreed to go. The three of us rode in Alice's yellow Porsche 911 Turbo to the Cullen House.

I remembered how I had been a little bit uncomfortable being alone in a car with Alice and Jasper, but that was before Alice and I became close friends. I remembered feeling out of place and infinitely embarrassed that they had gone through the trouble of driving all the way to Arizona to protect worthless little me. Now, I just felt detached, like I didn't belong with them anymore, even though they wanted me to.

Sighing, I put my feet upon the passenger seat and curled up into a ball. "Honestly, I don't understand why you still want me," I said.

"Oh, Bella," said Alice sadly, "I've missed you. Edward misses you. We all feel incomplete without you for us to entertain."

"So Laurent was right to call me your pet," I said.

"Laurent told you that?" asked Jasper.

"Yeah, just before Jacob and his brothers saved me from him."

If they had any blood, Alice and Jasper would have been blushing. In any case, seeing them squirm uncomfortably in their seats was wildly satisfying.

I had imagined never having to visit the Cullen House again. I opened the door, and surely enough, Edward was playing in the piano the lullaby he had composed for me. His playing was always so intricate and delicate; it brought tears to my eyes. No, I had to be firm! I wiped my eyes with my hands and marched upstairs where the piano was. I had been walking so slowly that Edward had finished the entire piece when I found him.

Edward went at vampire speed from the piano to me. He lifted me with his majestic arms and kissed me with so much passion I could have passed out but didn't. "I'm so glad you came, Bella," he said, peppering my face with tender kisses. Then, he stopped. "You smell of him."

"You know you are in no position to stop me," I said defiantly even as I blushed with shame.

"I know," he said sadly. "I'm just disappointed we had to cancel the wedding. Alice had it all planned out."

"Of course I did," chirped Alice. "Oh, Bella, it would have been grand. The whole entrance hall would have been strewn with white ribbons and white flowers. Everything would have been scented with potpourri, and you would have been fantastic in your gown. …"

I laughed inwardly. Besides graduation and our big battle against Victoria and her newborn army, Alice had busied herself with planning the wedding. Nothing excited Alice more than shopping except having been given a reason to shop—in this case, my wedding. I had been too stressed over the very real threat to my life to be thrilled about the event. Alice knew this enough to let me "wait and see" what she had in store. Not that I had been very keen on making the wedding day perfect; in fact, I'd felt so embarrassed for Alice doing all the work that I didn't feel like going through it at all.

Now, I felt like shrinking into the polished floor as Alice told me the plans that could have been a wonderful surprise for me: "You and Edward could have gone to Brazil, and have your private honeymoon in Isle Esme. Carlisle bought the island for Esme, and the two of you can have it all to yourselves!"

"I don't deserve all that," I said, trying not to cry.

"Of course, you do, my Bella," said Edward. His beautiful topaz eyes radiated sadness that crushed my stony heart into sand. "If you would let me, I can show you just one more thing."

After experiencing such thrills no other human could possibly experience, I couldn't imagine how Edward could show me anything more that can surprise me, anymore. Curious, I offered my hand, and he took it. His touch had an instantaneous reaction. My skin tingled and the hairs stood on end. There was no use in hiding that I liked it very much, and I missed it so.

Edward led me to the back of the house. He beckoned me into the patch of woods beyond the house, and I followed in his perfect strides. We followed a little trail. We didn't stray from the trail or wander very far, but soon, the lights of the Cullen House were out of sight. Then, Edward stopped outside a quaint little bungalow.

"It's perfect for us," he said. "It's _our_ house."

"It's wonderful," I said. "It's the kind of home I want."

"Do you want to look inside?" asked Edward.

There was no use in saying no, so I nodded and followed him. As I had expected, the bungalow looked bigger on the inside. It was fully furnished and decorated. It was complete with books and electronics and trinkets to fill in the shelves. "It's all so beautiful," I said, once more feeling the love that Edward and his family had for me.

"And it's all for you," said Edward.

I looked at him. His sorrow barely marred his beauty, and I couldn't take it. "Really?" I said.

Edward nodded. "I would give everything for you," he said. He leaned in for a kiss, and I was powerless to draw back from him. He smelled of vanilla and cinnamon. I could smell it in his skin and his breath. I could taste it in his tongue as we kissed. It was the most delicious sensation, and it was the first time that we kissed like this. I yearned for more, and so did he. As though reading my mind, Edward lifted me and laid me on the bed.

His hands were unusually clumsy as he unbuttoned my jeans, but he pulled the tough trousers off me with ease. I mewed with pleasure, being half-naked in his presence. He removed my shirt and kissed me again. My mouth felt as though filled with honey, magnifying my senses in effect. My heart raced as Edward stripped off my underwear. My skin tingled with anticipation. I grew hot and wet between the legs. No matter what I said or did, I loved him. I loved Edward. There was no way to deny it.

I loved him but not the kind of life he could offer me. As I gazed up at Edward's bare magnificence, blood rushed in my ears like an internal alarm. "This isn't right," I said, reaching for my clothes on the floor.

Edward held me with both hands at the hips and told me, "This is what you want, right?" He put one hand between my legs. I gasped at the rapturous sensation. It was too much. He looked about as tortured with desire as I was as he observed how much my body wanted him.

"You said you wanted to wait," I said with a wobbling voice.

"Well, I changed my mind," he said tenderly. "I must have hurt you so when I denied you our consummation after I promised that everything you want is yours. You deserve nothing less."

"Edward," I said. I was unable to say anything more when he mounted me and penetrated me. I was rendered breathless as his shaft slid inside as easily as a brand-new knife through a slab of meat. I trembled violently. The heat of my flesh contrasted painfully with his icy shaft. I found my voice only to cry out in pain as he probed more deeply. Edward kissed my mouth and fondled my breasts. Then, he groaned as if from pain. My eyes widened with horror. My hymen was torn, and blood was coming forth.

"Let me go!" I whimpered, but Edward grasped my shoulders in his powerful grip and bit into the pillow. We both screamed. "Stop!" I said, panicking now. But he continued to sway me, faster and faster. He slammed his fist against the headboard with each thrust.

I might have enjoyed all this if I weren't so scared. I was being ravished by a jackhammer so powerful that my vision was reduced to a grayish blur and there was nothing but fear and pain. I was being pummeled from the inside out, and I couldn't even scream. His hands clutched at various parts of my body like I was a stress ball. No, he was wrong; this wasn't what I wanted. Soon, Edward stopped, pushing himself very deeply. He shuddered and moaned in sweet agony. Then, he lay down on top of me, catching his breath.

I lay there waiting. My vagina pulsed around him, counting the seconds. "Edward," I whispered.

He looked at me. His face was unrecognizable. His eyes had gone black like ebony, and the rest of his face was contorted in fearsome agony. "I wish you could read my mind," I said. I was seldom angry with Edward, but I hated each time because I was always defeated and helpless, like now. I could only lay there and wait for him to kill me. To my surprise, he screamed in rage and fled the room. I sat up. There was fresh blood on the pristine sheets. My whole body ached. I needed to lie down.

I hadn't realized I had fallen asleep until I woke up to searing pain between my legs. I kicked and screamed, more so when an icy hand held me firmly by the arm. "It's alright, Bella!" called Carlisle's voice. "You're alright. You're safe."

I was still in the bedroom where Edward had taken me. Carlisle was cleaning me up. He had covered my body with the blankets. There was a small bowl of blood-dyed water on the tray beside the bed. At the foot of the bed, my clothes were neatly folded.

I had never seen Carlisle as grim as he now was. I felt comfort in knowing that Carlisle at least understood how grave what his son had done. "It will sting for a little while, but it will heal in the next few days," he said in a businesslike monotone. "You can get dressed."

When he turned around to leave, I said, "Carlisle, I'm scared."

"I know, Bella," said Carlisle. The affection in his voice was back. "I am, too. I'll take you home, if you like."

"I don't want to go home. Could you take me to La Push?"

"I can only bring you as far as the border. Is that okay?"

"Okay," I said. "Thank you."

Carlisle was unmistakably heartbroken even though I hadn't complained about what had happened. Like Jasper, Carlisle had never been as chatty as Alice or Emmett, but his energy radiated strongly.

I couldn't bring myself to talk about it. I was too shocked at what had happened and disillusioned with Edward that I still needed to wrap my mind around it. I didn't need to because Carlisle knew.

"You could have stopped him," I said. "You could have saved me. That's what you do, right? You save people."

Carlisle looked deeply ashamed with himself. I had never seen him look this broken. "After having spent so much time with you, I thought I could trust him," he said sadly. "I trusted him too much tonight. Please, forgive me, Bella."

It took me several minutes to come up with a response. We were just outside La Push when I was finally ready. "I'll have to forgive him first," I said. "Thank you, Carlisle."

Billy and Jacob's house was a short walk away. Billy didn't look too happy to see me. "I'm sorry, Bella," he said worriedly, "but this is a bad time."

"How bad?" I asked.

"Jacob is fine," he assured me, "but Sam isn't. Everyone's trying to calm him down."

I frowned, puzzled. I couldn't imagine Sam being anything other than calm and collected. The weight of responsibility bore down on his head, but I had never even seen him flinch.

"Is it okay if I wait for him? It's really important," I said.

Billy narrowed his eyes at me. "I think you can confide in me, too, Bella."

After a few moments' hesitation, I was about to say it when the door opened. Jacob was carrying a man. Jacob set him down on the couch. He was about Billy's age, but he was so bedraggled that he could pass off as a much older man. His face was badly bruised and may need minor surgery.

"I'll get a doctor, Jake," said Billy, wheeling himself to the phone at once.

Bewildered, I quietly watched the scene. Jacob fetched a basin and a face towel. He washed the man's face with a damp towel. The man only groaned in agony. When his face was clean, my hairs stood on end: it was Sam's father. The resemblance was unmistakable.

I sat quietly in the dining area, watching Billy and Jacob attend to their unexpected guest. Now that I was here, it will only be more embarrassing to just leave; besides, I still needed to talk to Jacob before I lose the guts to do so.

"Whoa, who's that mighty fine lass I see?" asked the man, when he came to. His eyes were bleary. He shuddered violently and began to scratch his arms.

"Shut up, Joshua," snapped Billy, bandaging the man's hands.

"Bella Swan," I told Joshua Uley. His incessant fidgeting gave away that he was a drug addict—probably crack.

"Swan," murmured the man. "I knew someone named Swan."

"You have, haven't you?" said Billy vaguely. Jacob stood behind me and held my hand.

"Of course!" said Sam's father. There was the strong hint of certainty behind the slurred speech. "My Pappy Levi used to tell stories about some Swan fellow. What's his name? Solomon … Solomon Swan, that's right."

"Dad?" said Jacob, who was starting to freak out.

"Don't be silly, Joshua," said Billy. "There isn't anybody named Swan in La Push."

"Besides Old Quil's wife, there ain't," said Joshua Uley, "not since Old Solomon left La Push to marry a white woman. He wasn't heard from, since."

I started to feel light-headed. My stomach was turning.

"Shall I bring you home?" asked Jacob.

"I actually don't want to go home," I said. "I just want to talk to you. You're the only one I can trust."

"I gotta warn you, though," he said. "The whole pack will know what you tell me … unless you want the pack to know."

I squeezed his hand. My hand was cold. "Do you mind if we take a walk?" I asked.

Jacob turned to his father. "Dad, we're just gonna take a walk, okay? Will you be okay with him?"

"Yes," Billy said confidently, as Joshua had passed out again on the couch.

Jacob and I walked to the beach. When we got there, Jacob asked, "Why did you come to La Push? It didn't feel like the other times you visited me."

I took a deep breath. "Well, I did something terrible."

"What, burn down the Cullen House?" Jacob suggested with a chuckle. Then, his face fell when he looked at my face.

"Jacob, I went to the Cullen House," I said. I cried. "I was told Edward only wanted to talk. He tried guilt-tripping me into getting back together with him. When I refused to give in, he raped me."

Jacob's eyes came out of focus, and he started to tremble like a guitar string. "Jacob, I'm so sorry," I said. "I should have left, but every time he is in front of me, it's like everything about him draws me in, and I'm hypnotized. I don't know how to stop."

"Like a moth to a flame," Jacob supplied. His trembling somewhat subsided. "It's how vampires attract their human victims. I don't blame you for a second, but Bella, what the hell were you thinking, going to the Cullen House?!"

"Alice told me he just wanted to talk!" I shrilled.

"And you believed her?" asked Jacob incredulously.

"Of course I did! She is my friend!"

"What kind of friend knowingly puts another friend in danger? She's the little dark-haired fortuneteller, right? She should have seen it coming!"

My knee-jerk reaction was to defend Alice by saying that Alice's visions depended on people's decisions. But Edward likely intended to seduce me the whole time. Defeated, I broke down and cried. "They tricked me!"

"They've always tricked you, Bella," said Jacob. "The way I see it, they're keeping you alive not out of compassion for humanity but as a trophy for other vampires to see that they're different. And they _are_ different; they are worse, because they're playing with your feelings."

It was all very difficult to absorb, but I couldn't see any flaw in that argument. "I'm a fool, Jacob! I'm their fool, and I'm sorry!"

"Come here," he said softly, pulling me in for a tight embrace. "I don't blame you for one minute."

I hated being put on the spot, and it felt like the first day of school again as I sat among the shirtless Quileute boys, Emily Young, and her cousin Leah Clearwater. Leah's gaze was especially unnerving though Jacob was literally the only one I could be comfortable with, at the moment. Sam was standing behind the kitchen counter. Emily was standing behind him in the shadows.

"Under these circumstances, I wouldn't have allowed you to enter Quileute territory," Sam told me. As I nodded, he continued, "But now that you're here and uninfected, it is best that you know what's going on. Technically, the Cullens can only break the treaty by biting a human. As you are not bitten, we are still bound by the treaty to not attack the Cullens."

"I don't want you to," I squeaked automatically.

Leah laughed bitterly and the others sighed with disappointment.

"I don't want to, either," said Seth, "but seriously, Bella, aren't you even the least bit angry after … this?"

"Treaty or no treaty, I think we don't have to attack," said Leah smugly. The boys became tense at once, dreading Leah's next words. "The local bloodsuckers have claimed Bella long before most of us phased. Besides, she was attacked in their territory; she isn't our responsibility."

"The fact remains," said Sam, raising his voice to calm his murmuring subordinates, "that the vampire Edward Cullen attacked Bella Swan. It is our duty to protect humans from vampire attacks."

"No, our duty is to protect the tribe," said Leah. The others murmured in reluctant assent. "Bella is not of our tribe."

"Yes, she is," said Jacob with surprising calm. "She is descended from Solomon Swan, a former pack member of Ephraim Black."

"Oh, I heard about him," said Embry. "That's the dude who left the rez to marry a white woman, wasn't he?"

"It's just a story, Embry," said Quil softly.

"There have been many generations of Wolf People before us," said Jared. "We only know of the prominent figures like Taha Aki and Ephraim Black, but there are lesser known people, too. Who's to say that Solomon Swan didn't actually exist?"

"So, Joshua Uley wasn't making the story up?" I asked.

"Regardless," interjected Sam, in the same loud voice for calling attention; he got agitated at hearing his father's name. "Edward Cullen has violated the treaty by attacking a human."

"But he neither infected nor fed off of her," Jared argued, "so he didn't actually violate the treaty."

"Paul, what do you say?" asked Sam.

Paul, who was pensive amidst the chaos up to this point, sat up. "I'd like a better reason to attack the Cullens," he said quietly. "We've wanted to do it for a long time. It's that stupid treaty keeping us from it. But Sam, you seem willing to violate the treaty yourself just to attack the Cullens."

"Yeah, it seems like that, to me," said Jacob.

Sam viciously looked them all down even though he was noticeably indignant about Paul's and Jacob's assertions.

"Bella, what do you say?" asked Leah. She had never addressed me directly before, much less a supportive approach. I was so caught off-guard that I was unable to speak. Then, she added, "The love of your life just violated you. It seems more important to ask _you_ what you want." There was sincerity in her words even though she was obviously making fun of me for romancing a Cold One.

Leah and the rest of the people in the room waited for an answer. Everyone was watching and waiting for me, and I didn't like it. "I haven't really thought of it," I said, after a few long moments of thinking. "Edward hurt my body and broke my heart. I haven't thought of doing anything about it, yet. I'm just … I just feel betrayed."

Leah's face softened. She looked up at Sam, and they exchanged unbearably pained looks even as they both tried to hide it from everyone, especially Emily.

Sam cleared his throat. "So," he began, "who else besides me believes that the Cullens are held accountable for what Edward did and should be punished with an attack?"

Only Jacob raised his hand.

"That settles it," said Leah with an air of delighted indifference. "We leave the Cullens alone, for now." Leah distinctively reminded me of Rosalie, who never lost an opportunity to spite me. Rosalie was never shy of letting me know that she disliked me. Like Leah, Rosalie didn't care about how her consistent shows of disapproval made me feel as long as what she felt was put out there to see. How Leah or Rosalie maintained the hostility even with a gesture as subtle as looking at me mystified me.

The Quileute boys left one by one. Jacob let me ride with him in his motorcycle to my house. Charlie was home already and was glad to see that I was with Jacob. My father kissed me on the cheek when I arrived in the house, and I hugged him tightly. "I love you, Dad," I said.

"Is something wrong, Bells?" asked Charlie.

"I just really miss you, Dad," I said.

Charlie let me sleep in his bed again.


	4. Chapter 4

Betrayal

Phil and Renée were unable to arrange a flight with me because all airlines were fully booked throughout the summer. Remaining flights were so expensive even I wasn't willing to make my mother and stepfather pay for them. Besides, I wasn't going to stay long in Florida.

Jacob helped me with my project. After about a week, I was able to move the sculpture to my father's house where I could work in peace. Charlie knew exactly when I liked company and when I didn't. Working was an incredibly effective distraction from what Edward did to me. Simply not thinking about it helped a lot. As long as Edward didn't bother me again, I would be alright.

Then, the impossible happened.

I woke up from a strange jolt from the inside of my body. I looked at my alarm clock. It was only 5:00 A.M. I tried to go back to sleep, but I felt the jolt again and again and again. I rushed to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. Nothing was different, except that there was a conspicuous little bulge at my lower belly. The next nudge was a powerful one that almost knocked my off my feet. Horrified, I realized: I was pregnant with a half-vampire baby.

I was suddenly glad that I didn't have to go to Florida soon. If this freakish pregnancy proved to be too much for me, it would be devastating for my mother. I sneaked downstairs to pop a sleeping pill and then headed back to bed. Jacob and I could talk this out tomorrow.

I told Charlie I felt sick, so he let me stay in the house. He locked all the doors, but I kept my window open for Jacob after asking him to come over. To my surprise, Jacob knocked on the front door, compelling me to go downstairs and open it for him. Jacob had brought Emily Young along.

Emily had never come to the town of Forks before; at least, I had never seen her walking around these parts. Sam probably wouldn't have allowed her. "It's nice to see you here, Emily," I said while giving Jacob an inquiring look.

"I need her opinion," explained Jacob. "I don't know anything about these things."

"Well, come in," I said, standing aside. "Help yourself to some coffee or tea or whatever …"

But neither Emily nor Jacob were interested in any refreshments. They sat me down on the couch. Sitting beside me, Emily asked me a series of questions. She asked about my mood and my appetite.

"I haven't eaten anything today," I said. "I don't have an appetite."

"Do you feel hungry though?"

"Yes, but I don't know what I feel like eating."

Emily promptly ordered Jacob to blend an apple and serve it with a pack of crackers. While he busied himself in the kitchen, Emily asked me how I was feeling.

"I feel normal, I guess," I said. "I'm not as upset about the rape, and I don't feel, like, depressed or anything …"

Emily flinched at the sound of the word "rape." "Do you feel sick or nauseous or dizzy?"

"Not really," I said. "I stayed in bed this morning because I literally don't feel like doing anything."

Emily nods then takes out two white sticks out of her purse. "Take this," she said, "to find out if you're really pregnant."

Jacob arrived while I was reading the instructions. I drank the apple smoothie slowly. When I emptied the glass, I was ready to go to the bathroom. While I was doing what I had to do, I thought about Edward. I wondered how he would react when he found out. Then, I shuddered with fear; he'd probably find out by now, because of Alice. I envisioned Jacob in his wolf form locking his jaws around Edward, the way he probably always wanted. I envisioned Alice effortlessly dodging one wolf after another like a flying gymnast until somebody eventually catches her off-guard and shatters her. I imagined Rosalie trying to cut me open; she'd wanted desperately to have a baby of her own. It's just as well; I'd never imagined myself wanting one.

I felt another nudge from within as I was pulling up my trousers. I realized angrily: Edward had stolen my very body from me.

In the next several minutes that we waited, I felt several nudges of varying degrees of power. Both Emily and Jacob were fearful for me. They looked like they expected the monster to burst out of my stomach like the Alien chest-burster; which, it probably would. Finally, the obnoxious plus sign on the pregnancy test showed itself. The looks on Emily's and Jacob's faces showed it: It was a death sentence.

"We should get it out of you," said Jacob.

"No, we're not!" was my instinctive reply.

"Bella, this isn't a normal pregnancy at all," said Emily. "Women take at least a week or two to find out they were pregnant. And most find out on their second or third month. Either way, it's way too early for you to feel the baby moving."

"But …" I envisioned a tiny person growing inside me. For better or for worse, it was my child as much as it was Edward's. I was a mother now. It—no—he or she was my responsibility now.

"Bella, don't tell me you want to keep it," said Jacob.

"Jacob, it's none of your business if I do," I said crossly.

"Of course it is! You're my girlfriend!"

"And this is my child!"

Emily stood between us. "Bella, at the rate of how things are going, it just might kill you," she said. "And Jacob, don't be presumptuous; it's Bella's choice whether she keeps it or not."

"If she does, she will die!" shrilled Jacob. He covered his face in his hands and cried. I had never seen Jacob break down like this before. It was both sweet and heartbreaking.

"Jacob, I'm sorry," I said, "but I need to make it clear that you can't tell me what I must do to my own body. It's just that I hardly think that my child should be punished for all this."

"So it should be Edward," he said, and he strode out of the door.

"I didn't say that!" I cried. "Jake!" I ran after Jacob and grabbed his hand. Squeezing it as much as I could, I screamed, "Jacob, PLEASE! DON'T HURT EDWARD!"

"WHY?" roared Jacob.

"If you act rashly, they can take advantage of you! If you want to fight him, talk it out with your brothers!"

I let Jacob and Emily go home. This turned out to be a bad idea because, on my way upstairs from watching TV alone, my vision shrank as if I was falling into a well and the whole world was the light at the mouth. When I came to, I was in the emergency room with a teary-eyed Charlie.

"What happened?" I asked him.

"I found you passed out on the stairs when I got home. It's a miracle you're not injured. The nurse did some routine checkups and blood tests, so we can see what you need."

My throat closed up. Blood testing—they'd find out for sure.

My face couldn't hide the worry. "What's the matter, Bells?"

"Daddy, I—"

Just then, a doctor finally arrived. She was a beautiful Chinese lady name Charlene Hao. She smiled at me so nicely I smiled back. "I'm glad to see you awake, Isabella," said Dr. Hao. "How are you feeling?"

"I don't feel anything different," I said, dreading what was coming next.

"Good," said Dr. Hao, still smiling.

"But Doctor, why did she pass out?" asked Charlie.

"Well, Chief, your daughter here has mild iron-deficiency anemia attributed to her pregnancy."

"What did you say?"

"Daddy," I said, grasping Charlie's hand.

It took a few seconds for Dr. Hao to figure out the situation. Her kind grin was reduced to a small, respectful smile. "Chief Swan," she said in a low and serious tone, "your daughter has anemia, which is why she had insufficient supply of oxygen for her brain. As long as she keeps an iron-rich diet, she can carry a healthy baby. Excuse me. …"

Charlie waited until Dr. Hao was out of the room before he spoke: "Did you know?" He was very serious but neither particularly sad nor angry.

"I found out today while you were gone," I said. "I was going to tell you as soon as you got home."

Charlie's features softened. He kissed my cheek. We didn't talk between that time and the time when Dr. Hao returned with my release statement. After paying my hospital expenses, Charlie led me to the police cruiser in the parking lot. I offered to drive, but Charlie refused. "Only I am allowed to drive this," he reminded me.

There was a haze over his eyes. I pursed my lips, suddenly afraid he might hit me. He didn't. "Did you sleep with him?" he asked in a dangerous tone I didn't recognize.

I shook my head and cried. "He raped me, Daddy!"

Charlie remained quiet. Then, he did it: He skipped a turn and went to the Cullen House just outside town. "Dad, please," I said, when he stopped outside the door.

But Charlie got out of the car. To my horror, he was carrying a loaded pistol at his belt. I followed him to the door. Carlisle opened it.

Charlie showed his badge. "Your son raped my daughter."

"He's not here," said Carlisle.

Charlie glanced at where the back door was. He walked past Carlisle and found the back door in one try. Charlie then followed the trail to the cabin.

"Daddy, stop!" I screamed, following my father. Rosalie stopped me. I wriggled away from her grip and ran along the trail. Carlisle overtook me.

Charlie was calling for Edward with his gun out.

"Dad, let's just go home!" I pleaded.

"Charlie," said Carlisle, grasping Charlie's bare forearm.

The icy and hard feel of Carlisle's arm noticeably startled Charlie, who aimed at Carlisle's chest and fired point-blank. The bullet bounced off and hit Charlie's chest instead.

Charlie looked down, confused over what had happened.

"Rosalie, get away from here!" Carlisle told Rosalie, who was right behind me.

Charlie fell on his knees and started bleeding from his mouth and nose. I rushed to help him, but there was nothing I can do. By the look on his eyes, he knew, too. "Bells," Charlie managed to say through the blood. He put my hand over his heart.

"I love you," I wailed.

Charlie grew heavy. Carlisle and I lay him down. Charlie shuddered and went limp. His eyes went blank.

"You killed him!" I screamed at Carlisle.

"Bella, you saw what happened!" said Carlisle.

"I hate you! I hate you!" Then, there was the tunnel vision again. I felt myself falling into the darkness again.

#

I woke up in the ridiculously magnificent four-poster bed in Edward's room. I groaned when I remembered how Edward had bought this bed just for me for only a few days' sleepover before our big fight with Victoria.

"Are you feeling okay?" asked Edward's voice. He was standing at the doorway, looking worried. The clock above the threshold said it was ten o'clock in the morning.

"Please, stop acting like you give a shit," I snapped.

Edward chuckled. "Since when have you started swearing?"

"GET AWAY FROM ME!"

Rosalie turned up beside Edward and pushed him away. "Stay away from her, Edward!" she said.

Edward hissed at Rosalie and left.

I cried in front of Rosalie. "Charlie wouldn't be dead if it weren't for Edward," I said. "Please, take me to La Push."

"Only up to the border," said Rosalie.

"That's okay," I said. "I'll call Jacob."

In the car, Rosalie spoke first: "I might have asked you to stay awhile, but I figured you wouldn't want to stay in the house."

"Thank you for understanding," I said. I glanced at Rosalie's perfection. I didn't know if she knew what I was planning, but it pained me to put her through that.

"Don't worry," she said somewhat stiffly, "we had everything handled while you were passed out. We contacted J. Jenks from Seattle to arrange Charlie's death certificate and other funeral services."

"What about me?"

"Jenks is working on making the house yours," explained Rosalie. "You can sell it for college money."

I hated the certainty of her words. I was not going to survive long enough to go to college.

At the border, I transferred from Rosalie's BMW convertible to Jacob's Volkswagen Rabbit, already waiting for me. Rosalie made eye contact with Jacob and then drove away.

"Blondie doing favors for you now," said Jacob mischievously.

"None of your business, Jacob," I snapped. I might hate the Cullen family now, but its individual members remained dear to me.

"Sorry."

Jacob took me to Emily's house again, where the wolf pack was already gathered.

"Oh, Isabella," drawled Leah, "you just can't resist giving us trouble, can you?"

To my surprise, nobody called her out of this, this time. All the men wore looks of disapproval, and they were all directed at me. Even Seth, who had developed an amicable bond with Edward since Victoria's attack, was not pleased with me.

"Come on, guys," said Jacob. "You know that's not fair."

"I'll tell you what's not fair!" said Paul. "Her putting herself in danger and then making _us_ clean up _her_ mess!"

"I honestly don't want you to have to do anything."

"But we do have to," said Jared. "Our desire is irrelevant. This is our duty."

"The Cullens have officially violated the treaty," said Quil. "While they have not bitten, killed, or turned Charlie, they are responsible for his death as it happened right in their property."

"Furthermore," began Sam, "there is the matter regarding your child. She is part-vampire."

"In other words," said Embry, "we _will_ fight the Cullens."

"No!" I cried.

"Bella," said Jacob, "they have violated the treaty by killing Charlie and impregnating you. We are the consequence for their actions."

"No! I can't let you do this again!" I cried, looking at all of them. They were all so young—practically children. They were lucky with the newborns because the newborns had no game plan. The Cullens, on the other hand … "It's just that—I know this is all a matter of duty for you, but I'd rather you don't fight for me."

"For you?" growled Leah. "You think if I fight the Cullens, I'd be doing it for you?"

"Leah!" barked Jacob, who was about to grab Leah. Sam grabbed his arm first. "Let them talk," said the Alpha. Sam's eyes met Leah's.

I waited for someone else to speak, but no one did. "It's just that—I understand if you don't want to," I explained.

"Of course I don't want to!" said Leah. "Except for your lapdog here, neither my brothers nor I want to go anywhere near those bloodsucking disco balls. Personally, I don't even care about you. If you die carrying your baby to term, that's your choice. But my brothers and I will be willing to preserve the lives of people who don't have a choice, like your father. I will crack Edward's jawbreaker head if that's what it takes to save the tribe and the humans in Forks."

Sam moved close to Leah. He held her hand. To my surprise, she let him. They exchanged meaningful glances and then separated again.

Sam told me, "We're going to protect you because you are one of us."

"What do you mean?"

"You're related to my grandma," said Quil. "Her surname was Swan. You have a common ancestor: Solomon Swan, a member of Ephraim Black's pack."

"I am Quileute," I whispered, awestruck.

"We are _obligated_ to protect you, Isabella Swan," drawled Leah. "Don't get too comfortable."

Emily let me stay the night at her house. Jacob let me pass by my house to get a week's worth of clothes, toiletry, and savings.

After three days of planning, I went with the wolf pack to the little clearing where they had trained with the Cullens in preparation for the battle with Victoria's army of newborns. As testament of Alice's talent, the Cullens were already there waiting for us. Jacob and Sam were the only ones to stay in human form to speak with the Cullens. They didn't trust Edward to interpret their thoughts accurately. I wouldn't trust Edward any better; he looked more distressed than ever.

Sam spoke first: "You are either too brave or too proud to not call for reinforcement."

"This is our fight—no one else's," said Jasper.

"Even if we wanted to, our friends would have refused," said Alice.

"I know we have existed in peace for a long time," said Carlisle imploringly. "My family has no enmity with the Quileute tribe. We don't have to fight today."

This was more than I could take. "What about my father? He trusted you! Instead, Edward raped me!" I gasped when I felt a powerful kick from the inside. It felt horribly like a jab from a professional boxer. When I doubled over in the ground, Jacob hurried in front of me but not to comfort me. When I looked up, Edward was in front of him. "Did you try to come near me?" I asked Edward angrily.

"Bella, I didn't want this!" Edward said in a high pitch of distress.

"So, what?" I shouted. "You tricked me! You raped me! You impregnated me! This led to my father's death! And soon, I will die, too!"

Edward was distraught. Then, his face became calm and hard. "Carlisle can get it out of you."

Shame and fury gripped my being. So, this was the boy I had fallen in love with. Now, more than ever, Edward was exactly the monster he had warned me he was. Becoming as indignant as I was, Jacob phased. Emmett came to his brother's defense and jabbed Jacob's muzzle. Sam phased, too. The rest of the pack charged.

Carlisle and Esme charged to defend their children. Seth and Embry attacked. Carlisle managed to evade them, but Esme wasn't as successful. Seth and Embry dismembered Esme quickly. Alice throttled Seth with her legs, but Leah broke off Alice's head. Sam attacked Jasper, who was hurtling toward Leah. Rosalie clung to Sam's back and locked her arms around his neck, but Sam continued to smash Jasper's body with his claws and teeth. Embry and Jared chased Carlisle, who kept evading them with ease. When Quil pulled Rosalie off Sam, she thrashed her powerful arms and legs to keep Quil's claws and jaws at a safe distance. Meanwhile, Jacob continued to wrestle both Edward and Emmett. Then, Paul pulled Emmett off Jacob.

I gathered a pile of fallen branches and put a bunch of twigs and bark on top of them. I took out a match I had brought in my backpack and started a fire.

While I was building the fire, Alice's and Esme's headless torsos were now holding Leah down. Alice was holding Leah's hind legs while Esme was holding Leah's neck. Seth was trying to pull Esme off, but this only succeeded to choke poor Leah. By the time the flames were growing, Quil was bleeding from his nose and mouth. All the vampires had developed cracks all over their body as Embry and Jared had finally caught up with Carlisle. Sam had efficiently broken Jasper apart, so he helped Paul with Emmett who had maimed Paul's back, shoulders, face and legs, by now.

Edward was still clawing and kicking Jacob. Jacob had pounced on him. Like Carlisle, Edward had a knack for escaping Jacob's jaws and claws as many times as he could. But Edward had as many cracks on his body as there were wounds in Jacob's. Edward and Jacob were unleashing all the frustration and jealousy they had for each other. I could only watch this violence escalate, and I hated it.

Emmett had knocked out Paul. Emmett was about to give the finishing move, but Sam charged and broke Emmett apart with a few great swipes of his paw. Once succeeding this, Sam helped Seth with Esme and Alice. Leah had fallen unconscious and had reverted as a result. Sam carried his sister to safety while Embry and Seth took care of the vampires' remains.

"You will get nothing out of this!" said Carlisle, who was perched on a dead tree with Rosalie. Heedless of his words, Embry and Jared continued to reach for Carlisle and Rosalie, with no success. Agitated, Embry and Jared resorted to shaking the tree. Rosalie and Carlisle held on. They both looked at me. _No, I couldn't let them do this to me._ I looked away. "Edward!" Rosalie cried.

Edward and Jacob still hadn't finished with their duel. A chunk of Edward's shoulder had come off and the cracks on his body were more pronounced. Jacob had wounds on his back, face, and shoulders. Edward charged, but Jacob was ready. Jacob drew his shoulders and forelegs up to catch Edward under his body. Edward was effectively immobilized. Edward looked at me. He knew what was going to happen. I did, too. Jacob bit Edward on one shoulder and shook his body like a chew toy. I would have looked away, but this was too satisfying to miss. Edward screamed as his body crumbled. Rosalie screamed when Edward stopped.

A great ache was lifted from my heart. Edward was dead. I was free.

After tossing Edward's remains in the pyre I had prepared, Jacob reverted and collapsed. Sam congratulated him with a paw on his back. "We're still not finished," said Jacob, glancing at Carlisle and Rosalie. Sam followed his gaze and helped Embry and Jared to dislodge the two remaining vampires from the tree.

"No! No, please!" said Carlisle. "You have to spare us!"

"Why should we?" challenged Jacob.

"I know how to take care of Bella!" said Carlisle. "If you give me a chance, I can save her!"

"I can take care of the baby!" pleaded Rosalie. She looked at me. "I respect your decision to save the baby, Bella! I'm with you!" A little of my love for the Cullens came back.

Jacob and I looked at each other. Jacob and Sam gazed at each other, too. Sam stopped shaking the tree and stepped back. Embry and Jared stopped, too. Sam retreated to the bushes while Embry and Jared protected Jacob and me from Carlisle and Rosalie. All of the wolves had various degrees of injury. I gagged at the sight and smell of blood on the grass. They limped and coughed up blood as they carried the remains of the rest of the Cullens into the pyre.

Sam returned in human form and wearing jean shorts. "Some of my brothers need medical assistance," he told Carlisle. "I will let you look after them—no funny business."

"None, I swear," said Carlisle.

"Good," said Sam.

We all made our way silently to the Cullen House.


	5. Chapter 5

Blood and Water

Except Sam, all of the boys needed to stay in the Cullen House under Carlisle's care. Everyone was allowed to go home by midnight except for Leah, who had injured the muscles on her neck and shoulders. I was walking around the inside of the house to ward off the swelling feeling all over my body when I passed by what used to be Alice's bedroom. Leah was lying on a folding bed with a neck brace while Sam was at her side, holding her hand.

At the moment I was at the door, Leah stirred awake. The scent of vampires caused her momentary panic and she began to scream. Instead, a painful croak came forth from her mouth. "You're okay, Lee-Lee," said Sam. "You're safe."

Leah continued to panic, fully aware that she was nowhere she was familiar. "Hurts," whimpered Leah. "I can't breathe." She coughed up a little blood. Leah panicked anew at the sight of it.

"You will heal, Leah," said Sam gently. "It will just take a little time."

Leah focused on Sam. Her face softened. Without Emily here, Leah was a different person. After a moment of, apparently, recollecting the events of the past day, Leah sobbed and wailed. I had never seen Leah like this. It was heartbreaking and sweet at the same time.

She reached for Sam's hand. Sam laid his head on hers. Leah continued to cry as she clumsily squeezed Sam's muscled arm and shoulder. To my surprise, Sam cried with her. They kissed. They embraced each other. Locked in Sam's arms, Leah said, "I thought I was gonna die!"

"We all did, Leah," said Sam.

"No! I thought of you—and Emily. I thought I was gonna … and Emily will die thinking I hated her up to the last moment!"

Sam continued to cry.

"I don't want to hate you, Sam! I love you! I love Emily! But I … I was just so angry!"

"I know, Leah. I know."

"I'm so tired!"

Sam kissed Leah again. I felt ashamed of myself. I had rejected Jacob purely because Edward was _the one_. Yet here was Sam, having no choice but Emily; but his love for Leah remained real.

While Leah lay back to catch her breath, Sam said, "I had forgiven you a long time ago, Leah. I don't blame you for being angry. But Leah … you know I love you."

Taking a deep breath, Leah replied, "I do! That's what's so frustrating! It's not fair!"

"I know. … I know. …"

"Why can't I just have you?"

Sam sat up. We all knew the answer: "You just can't."

Leah frowned momentarily. Then, she sighed. She nodded wearily. Leah and Sam were as helpless as ever. But now there was peace.

Leah squeezed Sam's hand. "Sam, do you remember that one time I went strolling in the forest on my own? I was about to cross Quillayute River. The moon was so full and bright it was like noon. I saw a white wolf."

Sam sighed.

"Do you think the same as the boys?—that I was hallucinating?"

"He had yellow eyes …"

"He was as big as any of us—maybe bigger!"

"Leah!" Sam's last tone was reproachful. Then, he sighed again. "Someday, somebody will love you more than I ever can." Sam kissed her forehead and then laid his head on her chest.

I looked away and rested my body against the wall. Suddenly, Rosalie was standing beside me. "It never would have happened between you and Edward," she said sadly.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

Rosalie laughed inwardly. "Your face is an open book, Bella," she said. "You're wondering if you and Edward would ever reconcile like Sam and Leah just did."

I remained silent. With Edward dead now, there was no knowing.

"Edward was ever too proud to admit his wrongs," said Rosalie. "You saw the way he fought with Jacob. He still thought he was still entitled to have you. Would you like to see Jacob?"

"Yeah, I've been looking for him."

"Follow me."

Rosalie led me through a series of hallways lined with bedrooms. I did not usually travel to this part of the Cullen House because I usually stayed in Edward's room, the living room, or the library with the piano. The bedroom wing was all occupied with the Wolf People, each in various states of recovery. Most of them seemed well enough to go home. I guessed that Carlisle wanted to make sure they were okay. That was too kind of him—way too kind.

I stopped in my tracks. Rosalie looked back at me. "What's the matter?"

"This isn't right. Aren't you even angry?"

Rosalie looked sadly at me. "Even I'm surprised: no."

"They killed your whole family!"

"They're not my family, Bella," said Rosalie. She kept a straight face while I was agape. Then, she laughed. "What, did I just ruin your fantasy of the perfect vampire family?"

"No," I said automatically. Then, I shook my head. "I mean—yes—it's just that—you are all so close! It's all so real. With Esme and Carlisle …"

"I didn't say I didn't love them," said Rosalie. "When you've lived with the same people for the last several decades, you develop this familial affection with one another. But let's be real—brothers and sisters don't have sex."

"Yeah, but …"

"It's not that I'm not sad, Bella. I am _sad_, but I'm not angry. Before going into battle, we have made peace with our mortality. We have said our goodbyes. But I surrendered because I realized at the last minute that I didn't want to suffer for Edward's mistake. More importantly, I didn't want to seem like I'm defending Edward."

"You're on my side?"

"I got raped, too, remember?"

I bowed my head. "Thank you."

Rosalie smiled and put her hand on my shoulder. "Jacob is in the attic room."

Following Rosalie's directions, I found Jacob browsing the tattered books on the desk in the room. He flashed a boyish grin when I saw me. I was horrified to see the bloody bandage over his left eye. "Hi, Bella!" he said, as if we was having the best day of his life.

"Hello, Jacob," I said as he helped me to the floor. "How are you?"

"Terrific! We won!"

I bowed my head. Alice, Edward, Esme, Emmett, and Jasper were all dead. Realizing what he had made me feel, Jacob gasped softly. "That was uncalled for," he said. "I am so sorry."

"I know," I said, going on tiptoe to put my arms around his shoulders.

#

The Quileute wolves fully recovered and returned to the reservation the following day. I remained in the Cullen House under Carlisle's and Rosalie's care. Despite all the attention and nurture, I gradually shriveled up. In the next few weeks, I lost weight as rapidly as my baby grew. By the third week, I could pass off as seven months pregnant except that, besides my swollen belly, the rest of my body had become skeletal. Carlisle hadn't witnessed cases like mine, but he had read of dhampires during his human life. Half-human and half-vampire, dhampires could mature like normal humans, but they also consumed blood and had limited vampire powers and weaknesses. The unusually high rate of this maturation was unanticipated. What made matters worse was that Carlisle was unable to track my baby's development using the ultrasound device. The baby's amniotic sac was as durable as vampire skin and couldn't be penetrated with radiation or sharps.

Jacob visited me frequently. Despite his affection, he was unable to conceal that he wanted the child dead. I told Jacob every time: "This was Edward's fault, not his child's."

Carlisle and Jacob attempted to improve my poor appetite by feeding me human blood from the blood storage in the hospital. It was surprisingly good. It made me feel better after the last few weeks, but I didn't _look_ better. In fact, it only made my child stronger—strong enough to break my bones. By the time I was approaching the due date, I had broken several ribs and also my hip. Jacob was distraught that I could barely stand on my own anymore. Still, I protected my child from him. "If I die, you better not hurt him," I told him fiercely when I caught him glaring at my swollen belly. "Or else I'll haunt you until _you_ die!"

Carlisle had assured Jacob and the other wolves that I was being taken care of. Carlisle promised to do all he could to keep the child under control if he or she ever became the monster they feared he or she would be. Carlisle wasn't any more certain than I was how this was going to be.

One day, while Carlisle was feeding me the last pack of human blood from his storage, I asked him, "Carlisle, am I gonna die?"

Carlisle looked half-angry, half-sad with me. "Bella, I want to say you won't. I promise I won't let you, but it's impossible to tell right now."

"What can you do?"

"At this rate, you are almost ready for delivery. I can schedule a caesarian section a few days from now. I just need diamond blades to facilitate the operation. Does that sound good?"

"Yes, I'd like that."

Carlisle had made it a point to not keep me away from his sight too long. He had started calling for the hospital to deliver blood instead of him having to go out to get them himself. After that feeding, I glanced at the window. The entire Quileute wolf pack was there. Only Jacob and Sam were in human form. Had they been watching me? I opened the nearest sliding door and went out to the balcony. "Jacob, is everything alright?"

Jacob looked at me worriedly. "We're discussing about your child," he said.

"Bella, as you and your child are of the tribe, we are obligated to protect you," explained Sam.

"But he is still part-vampire," supplied Jacob. "We don't trust it to be safe around people."

Carlisle joined me at the balcony. "You trusted me to mend your injuries," he said. "You have to trust me to take care of the child."

Jacob, Sam, and the wolves looked at one another. Sam stepped forward. "Alright," said Sam, "but if the baby hurts Bella or any other human, you will get what is coming to you."

"I understand," said Carlisle.

I was in a lot of pain medication in the next few days. Carlisle gave me too little of it; he was concerned that the baby would be born addicted.

When the day finally came for my baby's delivery, I was glad that it would finally be over. Jacob and Rosalie were at my side. I was only so glad for Carlisle to administer the spinal anesthesia. Suddenly, all the pain in my body went away. I could only barely feel the baby moving inside me. "It's okay, baby," I told the squirming creature in my swollen belly.

I closed my eyes while Jacob and Rosalie held both my hands. I waited. Jacob and Rosalie took turns handing Carlisle the instruments. I could smell my blood. It took a surprisingly short time before I heard my baby crying. "Bella, look!" said Rosalie. I lifted my head.

A healthy newborn girl with perfectly curly hair was crying in Carlisle's hands. He handed her over to Rosalie, who cleaned up the baby in a nearby cot. In the meantime, Carlisle tended to my incision. With the procedure over and the anesthetic still strong, I dozed off.

When I woke up, I was disappointed that I was alone in the bed in Edward's bedroom. "Somebody …" I tried to call, but my voice was weak. I tried to sit up, but I had barely moved a muscle when I felt the fresh wound in my lower abdomen. I whimpered, but the pain was so bad I couldn't think of a name.

Suddenly, Rosalie was at my side. "It's alright, Bella," she said, holding a syringe. She pushed its contents into an IV tube already inserted into my hand with a needle.

"Where … my daughter …"

Rosalie grinned at me. "You will be pleased to know that she is strong and healthy and special."

"How long …?"

"You were out for three days," said Rosalie. "Seeing her now might surprise you."

I relaxed and smiled. "Thank you, Rosalie." Then, I slipped back into sleep.

When I woke up again, it was nighttime, and Carlisle was urging me to get out of bed. I was grateful to be able to stretch my limbs. The wound still hurt, but the analgesics made it bearable. Carlisle advised me to take daily walks from then on. When he led me back to the bedroom twenty minutes later, I was disappointed that my daughter was not there waiting for me. "Where is my baby?" I asked.

"She is with Rosalie," he said gently.

"May I see her?"

"Bella," he said soothingly, "you must understand: Renesmée is half-vampire. It can be dangerous for you, especially now that your wound hasn't healed yet."

"I understand," I said, still frowning.

Carlisle kissed my forehead. "As soon as you're all healed up, you may see her," he promised. "Oh, and by the way, happy birthday!"

In the next several days, the Quileutes visited me in the Cullen House, one or two or three at a time. Only Jacob visited me every day, but there was something different about him since Renesmée was born. He was more civil than intimate with me. When a week had passed by and he hadn't given me a single kiss, I asked, "Jacob, did you imprint on someone?"

Rosalie and Carlisle were in the room with us, and they all looked at one another. I narrowed my eyes on Jacob. "Did you imprint on my daughter?" I asked angrily.

"Bella, it wasn't my choice!" said Jacob desperately.

Ignoring the pain, I leaped from the bed and throttled him. "She's a baby!" I roared.

"Bella, you're not well yet!" Carlisle said, trying to pull me off Jacob.

Then, I heard a tiny voice of a child calling, "Momma!" I lifted my head. There was my daughter looking like a three-month-old baby. Hadn't it been only a month since she had been born?

"Renesmée," I gasped, dropping Jacob and running toward her. I scooped her up in my arms and admired her perfect beauty. Her face and hair were Edward's, but her eyes were mine. I didn't care that she was a little strange. She was my daughter. "I love you!"

"Bella!" Carlisle called in alarm. I had barely realized that Carlisle was in an unusual panic when I felt a sharp pinch on my shoulder. Renesmée had bitten me so hard that she drew blood.

Rosalie arrived and took the baby from me. "Bella, I'm sorry!" she cried. "I was hunting for us, and I accidentally left the door open!"

Jacob carried me to the bed while Carlisle tended to my new wound.

"I'm sorry, Bella," said Jacob. "Perhaps I should have told you earlier."

"I'm sorry I attacked you, too," I said. "I know you wouldn't have done that to hurt me."

A few nights later, I arranged with Rosalie to let me visit my daughter while she was sleeping. Knowing that Renesmée's sleep cycles were usually very long, Rosalie took the liberty to go on a stroll in the woods while I enjoyed a night of privacy with my daughter. I ended up sleeping beside her. When I woke up, a few hours later, I was shocked to find a hulking gray wolf about to lunge at us. When the wolf opened its mouth, Rosalie appeared and wrapped her arms around the wolf's neck. The wolf tried to reach for Rosalie, but its head was too big and Rosalie was much smaller. They rolled on the floor, knocking things aside, until the wolf started to choke. It shook its head and body and then shrank into a naked woman—Leah!

Leah tried to crawl away from Rosalie, but Rosalie grabbed her long, shapely legs and tugged them. Leah cried out and kicked Rosalie with little success. To my surprise, Rosalie put her hand between Leah's legs. "Don't take someone's baby just because you can't have your own!" growled Rosalie. Leah shuddered against Rosalie's intimate touch.

"I'm not the one pretending to be her mother, you leech!" roared Leah.

My eyes widened with disgust when Rosalie stroked Leah's nether lips. "I'm not the one pretending to care about her brothers," she told Leah darkly. "If you slay Nessie, you'd be breaking tribal law. You can't harm someone that has been imprinted on."

Leah shuddered more violently and cried out, writhing like a fish out of the water. Then, her body went limp. "Get out," ordered Rosalie.

Leah sat up and gave Rosalie a mighty punch in the face before leaping out of the window. She phased on the way down. Rosalie sniffed her wet fingers as the cracks on her face mended themselves. "Are you alright?" she asked me.

"Yes," I said. "She didn't get to touch either of us. Thank you."

Rosalie smiled weakly.


	6. Chapter 6

Sacrifice

I became depressed after that incident. Barred from seeing my own daughter and with my best friend no longer in love with me, I felt alone and worthless. I had lost my appetite and didn't leave bed for days. Whenever Carlisle persuaded me to take a walk, my surroundings seemed grayer than ever. I felt like I didn't belong in this world anymore.

After the fourth day of drinking only milk, Carlisle asked me what was wrong.

"I have nothing," I said. "I am nothing."

"Are you jealous of Jacob?" he asked.

I felt my chest cracking like a dam. I cried in pain. "I am her mother, but she's closer to him than me!" I wailed. The pain grew stronger. I wanted to die. This was not the kind of life I had imagined with my daughter.

"Bella," said Carlisle softly, "I understand how you are feeling, but there is really nothing we can do right now about that. Jacob has imprinted on Renesmée—"

"And so he owns her?"

"You know that wasn't his choice," said Carlisle kindly.

Yes, I knew. The mutual affection that Jacob and I had held for one another was no longer there. It was suddenly easier to be angry with him. It was just difficult to accept right now, that my daughter already belonged to another at barely weeks old. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. I was just unable to shake off the sick feeling that Jacob was destined from Day One to someday copulate with my daughter. And just as Emily had become an arm ornament for Sam, Jacob and Renesmée were to become inseparable.

I felt hollow inside. Jacob was going to take my own daughter away from me. I would be left with nothing. Charlie was not here. Edward was not here. And I was in no condition to continue my sculpture.

"What is on your mind?" asked Carlisle, startling me. He had said it in the same guarded tone that Edward had frequently used with me.

"I feel like I'm in limbo," I said, "like I don't belong anywhere."

Carlisle gently stroked my cheek with his icy fingers. I closed my eyes and imagined they were blocks of ice melting against my skin. He left the room to let me sleep and heal.

Resting and healing was all I was allowed to do in the next several weeks. The air grew colder. The trees became bald. Soon, snow began to fall. Months had passed since I had last seen my daughter. My body had recovered by December. I stood naked in front of the mirror and found myself attractive despite the distracting caesarian scar on my lower belly. I could walk and even run small distances with little pain. But the physical pain was replaced by the psychological agony of longing. Once more, I dared visit Renesmée without supervision.

Renesmée would only be three months old by December, but what I saw was the most beautiful three-year-old child in the room. "It's me," I said, "I'm your Momma!"

Her soft brown eyes became fierce. I recognized her face as Edward's whenever he hungered for my blood. My heard raced. I realized I had been foolish to come here. Renesmée was part-vampire. I turned around, but she was faster. Her small hands grasped my shoulders like talons. Her perfect teeth bit into my shoulder.

"Stop!" cried Jacob's voice.

Renesmée abruptly let go and let Jacob cradle her in his arms.

My heart was crumbling inside of me. "I should be able to hold her!" I wailed. "She is mine!"

"I'm sorry, Bella," was all Jacob could say.

Once again recuperating in a balcony in the back of the Cullen House, I watched Renesmée build a snowman by herself in the open field. Then, the figure of a sleek gray wolf slowly emerged from the nearby forest canopy. "Leah!" I gasped.

Leah the Wolf was halfway on her dive toward Renesmée when an invisible force brought her down. Renesmée watched in horror as Leah rolled helplessly on the snow, choking. Then, a whole throng of black-hooded figures surrounded them both. Carlisle appeared at my side. "Come on, Bella," he told me, and he took me in his arms.

Running alongside Rosalie, he carried me to the snowy clearing. The other wolves had joined us by the time we'd gotten there. My heart dropped when I recognized Aro, Caius, and Marcus wearing the darkest shade of black cloaks. "STOP!" cried Carlisle as he put me down. "Stop all this! Aro … Marcus … Caius … Don't harm them!"

Aro turned to Leah. "Afton," he said. Suddenly, another black-hooded figure appeared and let go of Leah. Sam and Seth led her to their pack. Aro smile mischievously at Carlisle. "Oh, my unconventional friend, we hardly seek to do harm in your realm."

Carlisle, Rosalie, the wolves, and I all looked at one another in confusion. Aro continued: "Our tracker Demetri has found a marvelous gem in your coven."

"If you're talking of Renesmée …"

"The child appears to be most valuable. And as Demetri sees that you are having trouble raising her, I think it is fitting that she is given to our care."

"No!" I screamed. "You can't take her away!"

"You have caused quite enough trouble, you worthless thing!" Caius snapped at me. "Best learn your place and be silent!"

"She is my daughter! I haven't even touched her or seen her!" I felt like I might die of grief. Jacob tried to comfort me.

"You will do nothing like that," said Carlisle. "Bella and Edward's child can be trained, my way."

"I don't see much progress in that, do we?" said Aro. "And might I remind you that you haven't kept your promise to turn your little pet?" He eyed me dangerously. The wolves all growled at them.

"_And_ you are conniving with such abominable beasts!" said Caius shrilly.

Marcus touched Caius' shoulder. "They are not Children of the Moon, brother," he explained. "It is daylight, and true werewolves do not assemble into packs."

The beautiful but severe-looking, auburn-haired vampire Heidi lunged and snatched me and lifted me by my hair. "Dr. Cullen, you are the 500-year-old vampire," she said. "You ought to know that any human who learns of our existence must be killed or turned. What will it be?"

Carlisle looked torn. Sam growled and whined. The other wolves looked just as conflicted as Carlisle and Sam. Renesmée was patiently waiting how this would turn out.

"Carlisle, my friend, I am a reasonable person," said Aro. "I am willing to make a bargain. We will spare your Isabella _if_ you give us her child."

Renesmée's eyes grew large and her cheeks glowed pink. Her eyes met mine. "Save … Momma," she squeaked. "I … go."

"NO!" I screamed. Heidi let me go. I threw my arms around my baby girl. "You don't have to do this," I told her. "We can make things better."

"Nothing better," she explained. When she touched my face, I suddenly experienced her memories through her eyes. I felt her pain and guilt upon trying to feed on me. "Bye-bye, Momma."

"Come on, my sweet," said Aro, taking Nessie's hand. "We are going home."

Carlisle held me close while I screamed and struggled with grief, so Aro could separate my daughter from me. Jane looked at Renesmée the way a jealous older sister would look at a newborn sister. The wolves came between the Volturi and Carlisle and me to protect us even as the Volturi retreated with Renesmée.

Later back in the Cullen House, I lay inside Renesmée's crib. It smelled of her. It could have been big enough for two of us to play and learn together. If only I could die here now.

"Bella?" said Carlisle, opening the door slowly.

"Go away! I hate you!"

"Bella, I did what I had to do to save you!" said Carlisle in a broken voice.

"So Renesmée becomes a monster like Aro?"

"She is already a monster without Aro grooming her into one," said Jacob, who entered the room behind Carlisle.

"She is my baby! She is mine!"

Carlisle and Jacob looked at each other sadly. Nothing they could say could convince me that they did the right thing. I had nothing. This might have been better if I had died giving birth to my daughter; then, I wouldn't have a scar on my lower belly as a constant reminded that my womb had once sheltered a very special little girl whom I had never told of my affections.

Shortly afterwards, Sam and Leah visited me in the room. "What do you want?" I snapped.

"We want to apologize to you," said Sam. "I was the one who sent Leah to slay Nessie."

"I thought it was against tribal law to harm someone imprinted by one of your own."

"Jacob gave us permission," said Leah. "I'm sorry."


	7. Chapter 7

Closure

The Volturi's chambers were exactly as ominous as I had last seen it about eight years ago. Last time, I had come unannounced to rescue Edward from the Volturi's wrath. The Volturi had been exceedingly generous as to spare both Edward and me in the end. Perhaps they should have executed Edward, after all; then, I wouldn't have had a reason to come back.

I clasped Jacob's warm hand. We followed Carlisle to the elevator where the Volturi's human slave and secretary fetched us.

"You look gorgeous, Miss Swan," she said.

"It's Mrs. Black," I said, smiling, "thank you."

"Your daughter has been quite anxious to meet you," she said. "She has made excellent progress in the seven years she stayed here. It was scary at first, but she has been trained to not harm me or the other assistants. She is also extremely intelligent. Once she has learned to control herself, she became a charming conversationalist. I for one enjoy chatting with her about the books she'd read. Did I tell you she has learned almost all Italian dialects as well as Latin? …"

I was overwhelmed with joy and pride. Jacob held me so I wouldn't fall.

Finally, the slave let us into the throne room, where a beautiful teenage girl with auburn curls was sitting on the steps below the throne.

I was so thrilled to see her I felt like my body would tear apart and come together, over and over. Carlisle announced us, and Aro graciously accepted us into their midst. He summoned the auburn-haired girl and pointed at me. "There is your mother, my sweet," he said. "Do you remember?"

"I remember, she smelled like freesia," she said. "M-Momma?"

Aro allowed both me and my daughter to approach one another. "Steady, my dear," commanded Aro gently.

We hugged each other. To my surprise, Renesmée felt nothing like a vampire. In fact, she felt very warm, quite like Jacob or Leah. Her cheek was soft like mine. She was very tall like her father.

"I love you, Renesmée," I told her.

"I'd wanted so much to meet you, Momma," she said with a vague Italian American inflection. Then, she drew away from me. "But I do not belong with you."

I had braced myself for this. It didn't hurt anymore. "I know. I am proud that you know better."

She glanced at Jacob. They smiled at each other. He gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Heidi the hunter led all of us to a smaller chamber behind the thrones. We talked for hours. It was the best five hours of my life. While it saddened me that Renesmée would never come out into the daylight except to gather humans to later feast on with the rest of the Volturi, I was happy that she had been taken good care of, as I had hoped. Renesmée was just as glad to learn that, after my art course in Florida, I had become a researcher for reviving the Quillayute dialect among the children in La Push. Jacob had established his own auto repair shop. Renesmée no longer remembered the rest of the Quileute pack, but she was also happy that almost all of them had settled down; Leah had left La Push to attend a community college in Shoreline.

By the time we had to go, I was ready to leave. I had seen my daughter. I was not to live forever, but she will. I was confident that she can make the best of it.


End file.
